The Saga of my XJS

Posted on Jan 7, 2019 in Antique | Comments Off on The Saga of my XJS

Like all relationships, my love affair with my 1994 Jaguar XJS started out beautiful, but is now turning into something like the “War of the Roses.” Once I decided that it was time to end our affair, she has turned into a vindictive little witch, out to steal every penny I have, and to turn my life into a living hell.

I bought the car in December 2006, and it was a tough decision. I knew it wasn’t practical, and that it would be expensive to maintain, but I also knew that I had to have it. I had loved cars my entire life, and this was the closest I would allow myself to get to owning a exotic car. I named her Sarah, and she immediately broke my heart. Sure it was amazing to have a car that was different than anything else on the road, but the maintenance costs were unbelievable. The first time there was a problem, I started a search for a specialty repair shop. The guy I came up with was an expert, and even his garage had a expert sounding name. On the down side, he was expensive and old, so as time went on he became less and less excited to see my car.

Every time she “failed to proceed” became an event. The logistics for getting the car to and from his shop was formidable. The time it took to get parts, which always seemed to be locked away in the Tower of London was unfathomable, and the bill was never less than $2500.00 a visit. After a huge amount of visits, I one day realized that Sarah could not be my daily driver. I placed her in the garage, and only took her out for shows or weekends.

This seemed to bother Sarah, who now took to dropping parts off while parked in the garage. Gone were the days when she would break down during a trip, now she just shed unwanted parts for attention. This continued on for about a year, until I decided that it was finally time for us to part. Selling her would be my big break into buying and selling classic cars. She would be my guinea pig. Unfortunately, she must have heard my plan, because she retaliated.

I tried to fix what I could myself, and ignored the rest. By the time this summer came by, she was sans air conditioning, emergency brake, drivers door mirror, had started to shed her clear coat in several places like mange, and was driving about the same as a 1930’s pickup truck. She was pissed, and she let me know it. One night she decided that I was no longer deserving of electricity, and then another decided that low beams were now an option I would not be allowed to enjoy. Her right rear tire exhaled all the air every time I filled it, and she refused to allow the power steering fluid cap to be opened.

I brought her to my mechanic for one last round of repairs. Now in his 70’s, he refused to crawl around inside her, and told me he wouldn’t work on her…after a week. I did more searching on the internet, and found a recommended repair shop in some local British car forums. He took the car, and kept it for almost three weeks, until I finally pinned him down on what was causing the delay. He was searching for a part, which I eventually found for him (in one hour). Now with the part in hand, he sat on the car another two weeks before even starting any work. Sarah it seems had colluded with him to cause me misery.

I am still without her. She remains down at the garage having all the problems sorted, so that she can be returned in pristine condition. When I do get her, I will list her on eBay, as if she was just a one night stand that I have tired of. I hope that someone buys her, and get a few years of enjoyment and happiness. She will be in the best condition of her life when she leaves. One thing I do know is that she is British, and as such, the happy times will be short lived. Eventually she will turn on her owner, and become the vicious bitch she really is. From now on, I am looking at German cars.